"You're so lucky!" is a phrase I hear often and, on most days, I am willing to concede that I am very lucky. After five insane years of running my oldest daughter from grandma's house to the babysitter's while I earned my Ph.D., I found a way to work from home and be with her and her new baby sister. I truly appreciate the fact that while I am sipping my coffee and watching my computer boot up, my neighbor (who holds the same job as me, but not online) is standing knee-deep in snow scrapping her windshield and cursing.
I also very much appreciate the fact that when it comes time for my children to return home from school, I simply stand up, stretch, and open the front door as I peer out at my neighbor who is typically screeching into her driveway in time to grab her kids and speed off to the next class she is teaching while dropping her sons at some destination along the way. However, these past years of working at home have taught me many many valuable lessons that I truly wish I had known sooner. Here are my top five things I wish I had known before working from home.
Work at Home Lesson 1 - Make contact
In the quiet of the afternoon when all you can hear is the clicking of your keyboard, you will miss that annoying colleague who used to slurp his coffee while looking over your shoulder. If you are working at home and your kids are in school part or all of the day, you need to find ways to interact with colleagues (which is, of coure, part of the great thing about this website).
Work at Home Lesson 2 - Have boundaries
Boundaries are vital -- I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY VITAL -- to keeping your sanity. This means that you save some part of the day for yourself to be "off duty." That can be hard when your work day literally stretches from dawn to dusk.
I'm in a nice position now with both of my children gone all day, but I remember all too well trying to get work done and be with my kids, and do housework. Everything blurs together, which is very dangerous. At the very least if you can do nothing more, be sure to set aside time to breath.
Work at Home Lesson 3 - Stand your ground
You teach people how to treat you. This is an entire chapter in Dr. Phil's book "Life Strategies." In the case of the work at home mom it means that you don't downplay the fact that you hold not only the very real job of Mom, but also a very real job that reports to a boss somewhere out there.
My first year of working from home, I was bombarded with requests for me to give family members rides to doctors appointments, run errands with friends, and endless shopping invitations. At first I tried to accomodate everyone. Then my head exploded...okay, it actually just throbbed, but still it wasn't fun. In addition, there were a few scattered comments by my husband asking me to run an errand or throw in some laundry.
Ultimately, I had to remind everyone that my boss was still expecting me to complete my job and I had to begin treating it more like a real job (and respecting myself) and less like someone was just throwing money at me for "giving it a good attempt."
Work at Home Lesson 4 - Get help
Initially I was hesitant to get help since the whole point of me working from home was that we wouldn't need daycare. However, I quickly found that I was going to lose my mind trying to do it all alone, so I found elderly relatives who were bored and thrilled to just get out of the house and go hold a baby.
I would invite them over for a few hours a week to give me some peace in the afternoons. Later a friend of mine said her pre-teen daughter was eager to babysit, but wasn't ready to do it all alone. BINGO! That became the perfect situation for me because she wanted the experience and I was sitting right there in the house.
Do yourself a favor and get some peace at least once in a while by using either of these (or possible other) ways of getting help. It doesn't cost much and will help you!
Work at Home Lesson 5 - Feel good about your choice
When I completed my Ph.D. I was completely drained. Not only is the process itself extremely tiring, but being a mom while doing it is a monumental challenge (I gave birth to my youngest daughter at the exact mid-point of my program). I had several job offers, many stemming from the fact that I was one of the first in the country to graduate with an emphasis on rhetoric and technology (at the time a very new and rare program).
My dissertation committee was sorely disappointed that I turned them all down and spent the first few months freelance writing and focusing on my family. In time, I began teaching online and, finding that I truly enjoyed freelancing, continued writing. However, whenever I would have lunch with one of my former classmates and s/he arrives in a suit talking about a meeting, etc. I would begin to doubt my choice.
I'll be honest that to this day, that doubt sometimes creeps up in me, but overall I have learned to feel good about my decision. I have loved being with my daughters and I absolutely love the freedom I have to invent my career each day. There's no reason to feel like you've made a bad choice based on someone else's life. If it works for you, then FEEL GOOD! After all, moms who work from home work hard!
I hope this is ok to talk about here. I'm new to the site.
I am looking for work at home moms who made the transition from a "Job" to working at home. I am planning to put together an e-book and those who would like to share their story will be featured. I have a list of several questions that I'd like answered which shouldn't take much of your time. Questions such as what you're doing now, how did you make the decision to quit your job, etc. Along with your story, I will include a link to your site, (or another form of advertising you'd prefer). Please let me know if you'd be interested. I'd love to put together this resource for other moms who'd also like to work at home. Please feel free to forward this to any other mom who you feel may be interested. Thanks!
Mom Types 
