I can´t speak for anyone else, but I was the same as you when I was younger and put on 2 stone after the kids. However, my husband also has gained weight after 40 and we just are both a cuddlier version of who we used to be. I like my men a little on the larger side, well just a bit cuddly. You are still you inside, if you want to lose weight, do it for yourself. Sometimes I feel like I´ve been half my life on a diet, and for what? Now at 44 I´m watching my weight and eating healthier so I can be here longer for the kids. That sure focusses you on the things you do to your body. Good luck though, I can´t take the criticism of something so personal. Try to ignore it and just keep going step by step.