What to Expect When You're Not the One Expecting
A Dad's Survival Guide to Pregnancy
By: hockeydad on: Fri 11 of May, 2007 [02:07 UTC] (6400 reads)
I once saw my wife go through four emotional states within a thirty-second span when she was expecting. Now I’m a fan of roller coasters, the ones that twist and turn and go upside down.
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I love the blood rush to the head it gives you as the ride violently jerks you from side to side. I even put my arms up as the thing drops from its highest elevation. But that thirty-second ride my wife gave me as I watched her go from steaming anger, confusion, sorrow and then to gleeful delight is, without a doubt, the most horror-filled, eye opening experience of my life.
For Expecting Dads
There are plenty of books out there to inform soon to be moms what they’re bodies will be going through during their pregnancy, but not too many books are out there that will prepare the unsuspecting soon-to-be father of the fanatical, perverse, but never boring journey he will take with his wife for those nine months.
First thing I should really say is that no two pregnancies are alike. All mothers know this, but this vital information is veiled to us men, the innocent. No, innocent obviously isn’t the right word here, maybe I should say gullible. Call it what you want, but the bottom line is we’re blind rats in a maze and there is no cheese at the finish.
The Unexpected Side of Expecting
I, as father to be, thought everything would remain the same during the pregnancy. Well, I knew the wife and I would be doing some baby shopping, but hey, it’s a baby, how much could it possibly need?
I should have used the experience that I learned two years before when I proposed to my wife. I thought that once I proposed to my wife, she’d be happy with that for a year or two before she would want to start planning a wedding. That night while we celebrated at the local bar, she was already setting a date, ten months away. Ah, stupidity is sometimes bliss, isn’t it? But that’s for another read, another time.
I'm Da Man
So we found out she was pregnant and after the required self-proclaiming “I am the manliest of men” speech I preformed to myself while looking in the mirror, I did what I thought was the normal routine for the soon to be father, I got back to watching television and prepared for the NHL playoffs.
Like with the engagement, I was completely wrong. The first stage to hit is what I like to call the “educational stage,” and it appears to be a requirement for all new moms. At this stage, my wife became a regular at all the book stores within a fifty mile radius of our home.
Any and all books to do with pregnancy were a “must have” for her. Valuable first editions were making way to baby journals, exercise books, diet books, what your body is doing books. Our DVD movies on the shelf were being replaced by yoga videos. This change was just the beginning.
A Pregnancy Unfolds
Doctor visits came next. Not that I hate going to the doctor office, but well, at the beginning of the pregnancy, they’re boring. Especially when it’s just a big Q&A.
Then came the morning sickness and it came often. Let me tell ya, it’s not just for morning anymore. My wife spent more time in the bathroom than any other room in the house. I swear there were days at a time I didn’t see my wife and, as the pregnancy blundered on, it got worse.