Get Your Teen to Vote

You know how lazy your teenager can be one minute. And how crazy-energetic the next.

Just be glad (or hope) it's just hormones and not drugs.

Well, it's time to be serious with that surly kid inhabiting your house. Hey, they hate you anyway, so you might as well do something good for the country while they hate you the most!

Win-win!

But seriously folks, if there's one thing you MUST do for your teen is educate the brat, I mean "young adult," about the importance of Voting. With a Capital V.

How women didn't have the RIGHT to vote until they fought like hell for it in the '20s.

How African-Americans couldn't vote until the mid-60s! How crazy is that???? Read that to them again, or just repeat it until they really let it enter their thick skulls.

How dare they not vote! It's an insult to women and black people! Typical teenager. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Especially this year. Especially if they're boys and don't want to schlepp to Iraq.

Or especially if they're girls and want to be paid a decent wage one day, and, oh yeah, have a non-toxic planet to bring kids into.

So you must resist the urge to have a testy fight about actually "doing something" instead of video-texting-and-playing-XBox-360, and sweetly educate them about their privilege and RIGHT to vote.

This year, especially, the saner people of the world have a chance to kick out the evil-doers.

The real evil-doers. The ones who live in the White House and the other ones who shoot friends in the face with rifle pellets. Time's up, morons.

This could possibly be the highest voting-record year for this "delightful" age-group, and no matter what your relationship (this week) is with that creature, you must do your parental duties and make sure they:

• register, and then
• vote

Easy. And if, for some reason you're not registered, you can do it as a mom/teen thing! Then run far, far away so they can pretend not to know you.

And yes, the teenage years end and you get normal people back. Sometimes they come back and live with you.

I'm just sayin.'