There is a lot of negativity around being a single mom. On website after website and especially in forums, single moms are bemoaning their fate. Most are in distress and unhappy, but I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. Single moms can be happy and thrive if they want to. Here are a few tips to help.
Pick your battles. With the kids, over clothes, food, bath time, and friends; with your Ex over child support, child rearing, and visitation; with Public Service Agencies over paperwork, caseworker attitudes, benefits. Finally with your extended family over living up to their expectations and holidays.
Prioritize your life. Decide on five important areas in your life (i.e. yourself, children, career, social life, church, volunteering, etc.). Put them in order from most to least important and within each area decide what activities you normally engage in, then prioritize. If it is not a priority, say ‘no’. Decide later if it is worth adding to your list of priorities.
Stay Focused. Set goals. When you get sidetracked get back on track. Post your goals, daily routines, and appointments where you can see them.
Ask for help. From trusted family and friends with the children, automobile maintenance and repair, occasional financial obligations, and limited decision making (advice).
Talk out your feelings. With trusted friends or a counselor. Bottled up emotions will eventually explode. Get them out ASAP!
Step back when overwhelmed. It is better to walk away for a little while than to stay too long and overload. Know when to say when.
Take a day off (forget responsibilities). It’s okay to take a day for yourself. If you feel too guilty, take a half-day. Those few hours will do wonders for your soul. Use the time to pamper yourself. When the mommy feels good, everyone else feels good too!
Have dreams, set goals. Life without dreams can be hopeless so dare to dream. But don’t just stop there. Set attainable goals and remember to note the details of those goals in the process. The when, where, and how of the goal will keep you on track in your effort to reach them.
Maintain friendships. Friends are so important. Don’t forget the old ones and never be afraid to make new ones. They enrich your life and help you remember that you are still an adult. Another important thing about friendship is learning how to be a friend. There is trust, loyalty, and commitment involved and you must possess these traits for long lasting friendship, but it is worth it.
Realize the freedom you have. Being a single mother gives you so much freedom. You make the decisions and you don’t have to answer to anyone. You can pick up and go when you want to (with careful planning) and you are free to be or at least discover who you are as an individual. Take advantage of your freedom. Copyright 2006, Samantha Gregory
Samantha Gregory is a native of Atlanta, GA. She graduated from Southern Adventist University with an Associate of Science degree in Architectural Studies and Graphic Design. Her Bachelor of Arts degree from Oakwood College is in English and Communications. Both degrees were excellent preparation for writing the book, 100 Secrets of Successful Single Motherhood, as was the school of life. Samantha is a single mother to two awesome kids. The experience compelled her to begin journaling about her life, which lead to writing the book. Samantha does freelance writing, editing, and graphic design and has two blogs, http://www.richsinglemomma.blogspot.com and http://www.singlemomsrock.org
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Two Type-A Moms are hitting Walt Disney World for the holidays. We will
be liveblogging, including posting real-time pictures, video, audio and
blog posts.
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