Single Moms and Partnered Moms

This is a tale of two moms... A single mom in comparison to a partnered mom is really not that different if you think about it. At least it doesn't seem too different to me. They have many similarities with a few MAJOR differences. Its those major differences that people get hung up on.

I came from a two-parent home with a childhood in the '80s when a single family income was sufficient enough to carry the majority of the bills. I grew up happily with my father in the home but he was the bread winner while mom was the one that took care of us kids and the home issues. But that was almost 20 years ago when a family could make it on one income. That was then, this is now.

Today's mom, single or otherwise, has to pick up the slack on the income as well as take care of the home and the children. Now for the single mom this is a major difference. You're not just picking up the slack, you're the whole caboodle! Child support, if you receive it, only goes so far and isn't enough to take the place of an income. This is the main point where a single mom struggles.

Luckily for me, I've always had family to lean on that help me out. Not everyone is so lucky. The single mom has a major financial burden that increases with each child she has. It's getting to be where some women honestly can't afford their children. What do you do? Most get another job, some seek a higher paying job, either way you slice it there's cut backs, sacrifices, and money that needs to be made.

It's a tight situation to get into but a single mom really has to juggle her time responsibly whereas the partnered mom has her significant other to pick up some of the demands that come with having children. Not saying she doesn't have to juggle because that would just not be an accurate statement to make. Any working mom has to juggle time, it just seems that its more so for a single mom if she wants any quality time with her children. It can be done and single moms are making it happen every day!

The economy is not a single income playground, that's for sure! Cost of living is going up while wages aren't coming close to closing in the gap. Gas to get to a job is outrageous and many feel they are working just to pay for that expense alone. Really, this will continue to be the biggest difference with any single mom compared to a partnered mom.

There's a certain luxury in having a two income home that a single income home will have a hard time achieving. In reality though, do you really need 150 cable channels? Or all those designer jeans? Name brand shoes? How materialistic are we these days? There's tons of places we can cut back and stop trying to keep up with the 'Jones' and just be happy that we have our family with us. Isn't that what its really all about?

A single mom is still the mom. She just has a few more demands on her life. Especially if she starts dating! That's a whole new ball park and a whole other story. It's always up to her how she handles those daily struggles and demands. Hopefully she has a strong network of friends and family that she can depend on.

Sometimes it really does "take a village" to raise a child. Not having the emotional support from a significant other can sometimes be taxing, but today's woman can usually handle the load and is stronger for it.

I'll leave you with this thought. I overheard my two 13-year-old nephews talking one day. OK, so I was eavesdropping. Shoot me. At any rate, one was commenting on how he wished he had the other boy's mom (who was a married mother with a two income household) because he had all the new and cool video games. The one looked at the other and said, "I wish I had your mom. I'd trade my games and toys for a mom that actually pays attention to me any day."

The mom in that reference is a single mom on a single income and struggling with two boys, but she makes sure that even though they may not have the name brand shoes they have her affection and attention. That really does account for more than we give it credit.