First Day of Separation

I kept telling myself don't cry, don't cry. In this situation, to let him see me cry would have been a bad thing. He would relate his first day of school to mommy being sad, so I kept my composure and put on a happy face. I had to do it for him, right? We walked into the class room and I could see the fear in his big blue eyes. I simply smiled and said, "Let's go let the teacher know you're here."

I approached the teacher my son attached firmly to my leg gripping me tighter with each step. By the time we reached the mini-tables and chairs I could barely walk because of the weight on my right leg. I combed my fingers through his hair and told him there's nothing to be afraid of. Ms. Lisa came over and tried to coax him away to no avail. We finally agreed that I would sit in a mini-chair with my son on my lap. Not a huge task had I not been so largely pregnant. He colored his project from the safety of my lap. Here I was feeling so very loved and needed but I knew the time would come that I would have to leave him behind in the hands of two women I didn't know and I would have to trust that he would be ok.

It was time to go to the rug and play. He didn't want to get off my lap. I told him I would be right here and not to worry. Then I noticed what two little boys were playing with. Toy cars. I pointed them out and he jumped up, "Bye, mom!" and took off to the rug and that was that. They had found the way into my son's heart. I stood there for a minute then decided I had better be sure he knew I was leaving. I didn't want him to turn around expecting me to be standing there and not be able to find me. I got his attention and told him I was going to go home now. He said ok with no quams about it.

Here I stood thinking to myself I was pushed aside for cars... Then I realized this was a good thing. I was there when he felt insecure and was able to leave at a time when he felt safe. It couldn't have worked out better!

Many times children are scared on their first day, second day and sometimes even first week of school. If you can put aside your emotions and keep strong for them it really is better for their own sense of safety and security. They will know that when mommy leaves its not forever and soon they will see her again. It makes the transition easier for everyone involved.

I'm not saying bottle up your emotions and be a stone cold rock, just be loving reassuring and even if you tear up keep a smile on your face. It really is for the best. Once you're out of range of the little ones sensory skills, let it out girl! I did, and felt much better for it.

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shannonsmith  - Single Work at Home Mom     |2008-08-11 23:26:48 Awww...hang in there! It does get better. So says the mom who has cried every year since her 7 year old started school. That would be through two years of preschool, then kindergarten and first grade. And yes, I totally plan on crying the first day of second grade in just two short weeks.

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