One of the most important things you can do is talk, talk, talk to your preschooler. Wait until after the tantrum or moment is over then calmly sit down and talk to your preschooler about what behavior you expect. It will take several times of explaining, talking, and even some listening before you begin to notice a difference.

If you notice your preschooler starting to go towards an action that you have discussed before a gentle reminder and distraction can sometimes help. Be direct and to the point when explaining to your preschoolers why you have the rules that you do and what you expect of them.

Children as young as preschoolers have limited control over their emotions which can often be expressed in actions. Screaming and jumping on the furniture, hitting, and back talking can sometimes be the physical symptoms of something deeper being wrong. If your preschooler is tired, hungry, or frustrated herself that can be released into actions beyond simple boundary testing. Before getting too upset it is always a good idea to consider whether your preschooler can really help herself.

On the days when your preschooler is really pushing all of the limits it can be more helpful for mom to take a time out than child. Step aside for a few minutes to calm down, regroup, and get a clear perspective on what might be causing the action. Of course this can sometimes be difficult, especially when somewhere other than home or when your preschooler is being violent to another child. But if you can steal just a moment to breath deeply and relax it can mean a huge difference in how you manage your preschooler.

Parents dealing with the power struggles and boundary pushing of preschoolers might find these books useful:

• Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D .
• How To Talk So Kids Will Listen by Adele Faber
• The Discipline Book by Martha and William Sears
• Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen

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