“You’re pregnant?!? How wonderful! You must be so excited!” ... Must I?
Scared, panicky, nauseous – check, check, check! – but excited? Am I really the only mom-to-be who isn’t utterly convinced that it’ll all be a bed of roses once Junior or Juniorette arrives?
Hubby can’t keep the dopey grin off his face and friends and family burst with pride whenever I waddle through the door. I’ve been called “cute,” “glowing,” and “radiant,” and co-workers bounce down the hallway whenever they think about getting to meet-and-greet the new family member. So why do I feel like the only wallflower at the dance?
All my life I’ve been leery of any females who suddenly start mooning about, declaring their need for a baby. These are the same people who continually bring home adorable little kittens and puppies and then get annoyed when those lovable puffs of fur have the audacity to transform into a yowling tomcat that sprays on the furniture, or a 150-pound German Shepherd that eats Hubby’s hockey gear (jockstrap and all!) and then barfs it up on the living room carpet, right in front of Grandma.
The absolute bafflement they go through when they realize that “baby” is not synonymous with “my very own Betsy-Wetsy doll” is truly a sight to behold, only to be outdone by my bafflement when a few years later they declare that they want another baby, except this one has to be a different sex from the first-born, because that’ll cancel out all the problems they went through the first time… OY.
Am I really the only person who’s ever seen a worn-out dishrag of a mom dragging a dirty, screaming, ungrateful five-year-old behind her at the mall? Who’s seen the police reports of gangs of thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds swarming senior citizens in the park? Who’s seen the graphic labour video at the Learning Annex and hasn’t thought, “Yeah, but MY labour will be different, and it won’t hurt AT ALL.”
Maybe my husband and mom are right, and it will all change the minute I hold little whatsit in my arms, but in the meantime, let’s allow expecting moms to be a bit insecure and a bit anxious… dare I say, even a bit human?
I was kind of freaked out the first time I was pregnant, too. The people who are excited for you know more than you can understand about the joys motherhood will be bringing you. A year from now a friend of yours will be pregnant and you'll be right there- more excited than she will understand right away.
As far as labor goes- see if there's a Bradley Method Childbirth class near you. I have six daughters and I highly recommend the Bradley method.
There is not ONE thing in this world that I hate more than pregnancy. Each one got worse for me. I gained 105 pounds with my first. I have permanently fused vertebrae from it. I have dirty, screaming, ungrateful children around me every single second of the day. I can't rememeber my husbands' name. Right now, as I type this, my 2 year old is trying to change the radio station with my nipples. And I'd do it all over again if I had to.
It sucks. It's worth it. Good luck! And good on ya for being so realistic!
