One of the first questions that many people ask expectant mothers is “Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?” Most OB’s perform a routine ultrasound at around 20 weeks into a pregnancy and experienced ultrasound techs can generally determine the gender of the baby at that point with a fair amount of accuracy. While some couples may not even question whether or not they want to know the gender of their baby, others may struggle with the decision.
Make the Decision Together
Deciding whether or not you want to know your baby’s gender before birth is a very personal decision and one that needs to be made together with your partner. While some couples with differing opinions make the decision that one partner will find out the sex of the baby and the other will wait to be surprised, it can be difficult for the partner who knows not to slip and tell the other.
Sit down and talk about your feelings and determine who feels the strongest about the decision whether or not to find out the sex of the baby before the birth.
Determine Why You Do or Don’t Want to Know the Gender
Whatever your decision is, you need to be sure and make it before your ultrasound appointment. It is easy to get caught up in the moment and make a rash decision. If you are still undecided before your appointment, have the ultrasound tech write the gender of the baby on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. That will give you time to make the decision you really want to make. If you don’t trust yourself not to peek before you have made a decision, give the envelope to a trusted family member or friend.
Make a List of Pros and Cons
Writing down your feelings can help you make a decision. Some of the pros of knowing your baby’s gender beforehand may include the ability to shop for gender specific baby items, being able to decide on the baby’s name before birth, or to encourage bonding. Some of the pros of waiting until the birth to find out the baby’s gender may include making the birth an even more exciting event, not wanting to be disappointed if the ultrasound results are wrong, or wanting to hold onto one of the last true surprises.
If you have a strong preference for your baby’s gender you need to decide whether it will be better to have some time to adjust to the news that your baby is not the gender you were hoping for or whether you want the excitement of birth to overshadow any disappointment you may feel. Pregnancy hormones can turn your baby’s gender into a huge issue. No mother can be disappointed for long while holding a beautiful, healthy baby of any gender in her arms.
Be Prepared for a Surprise
No ultrasound can be 100% accurate. It is important to realize that even if you make the decision to find out whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl, there is a margin of error. There have been many baby girls brought home to blue nurseries. One thing is a guarantee. You will love and cherish your baby no matter what the gender is.
Rachel is the mother of three very active little boys working as a freelance writer. She holds a B.A. in English with an emphasis in creative writing and is the owner of BusyMommy.us.
