There comes a day in the life of every mother when you realize that something is amiss. You can feel the changing winds. You can almost smell the tension in the air.
Oh, wait…that’s not tension. It’s B.O.
Puberty, my friends, is coming for each and every one of your children, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
You may think you have a few more years, that it won’t start until your precious wittle angel is 12 or 13, but you would be so very very wrong. This puberty thing starts when they are 8 or 9. Yes, EIGHT OR NINE. I am walking, talking proof that you can throw only-and-every thing organic down their throats when they are small and maybe, just maybe, if you’re really lucky, you’ll buy yourself 6 months. Tops.
Puberty is smart. It’s stealthy. It’s got this thing down to a science. You will never see it coming and then one day, when you least expect it, you’ll walk into your son’s room to wake him up without knocking first only to find that he is A) already quite awake and B) just a tad bit *ahem* busy.
This is cruel and unusual punishment that no mother should have to endure.
Moms, fear not. You can protect yourself. You can help yourself. You can Be Prepared.
The very first thing you can do, the easiest thing you can do, is sniff your kids armpits occasionally. No, I am not crazy, thank you very much. Just hear me out…
At the first sign of the slightest little odour, you have yourself one Golden Ticket to the Puberty Show. If you take that opportunity to sit down with them and explain to them what puberty is, and how awesome it is because see, we’re going to the store to buy you deodorant and aren’t you SO grown up, well, they’ll eat that up like cake. While you’re at it, you can easily slip in the ever-so-subtle, “While we’re talking about it, did you know that X, Y and Z are about to happen to you, too?”. This will be greeted with an emphatic, “Ewww, Maaaawwwwm!”, but that’s okay. You put it out there.
Check in a few days later. “How’s the deodorant working, kiddo? Good? GREAT! Any other developments?” The reply to this will always be an eye-roll.
Maybe that day, maybe a few days later, you sit your child down. You tell them that since they’ve had a whole week in pre-teen-dome, maybe it’s time to iron out the finer details. You tell them that they won’t want to talk to you about this, and that you’re fine with that, but you need them to know some things anyway. You ask them to listen.
Hold your breath for a second. Glance around the kitchen for the closet bottle containing alcohol. Give up, and go in.
This is your money shot. You may only get this one. You may only have the courage for this one. You have to Seize The Day here, moms. Carpe Diem. Tell them everything that is about to happen to their bodies. Tell them about soiled sheets and new hairs and all of it. Tell them a story of your own to keep it personal. Look them in the eye, don’t let your voice crack too much, and get through it.
The greatest thing I ever did for myself was to hash over the details of my son and his ‘alone’ time. We have a very strict “No Locked Doors” policy, and I had to concede that rule to him. There comes the time in the life of every child when they occasionally need to lock a door, and there is a limit to what I as a mother am willing to walk in on.
The second greatest thing I ever did for myself was to email my child this link . The website is called Kids Health and it is written specifically for teens and pre-teens. It covers all of the nitty gritty details that moms struggle with getting out. Face it, this is a tough subject for you and for them. You need back-up. After I laid as much out on the table to my son as I was capable of, I just emailed him that link and typed, “Hey, buddy, I thought you could use this information, too. Let me know if you have any questions after.” I am not kidding you, he thanked me for it. He said it was interesting. He saved the link for future reference.
The key to this whole puberty thing is communication. Your child has to know that nothing is a shock to you, that you’ve been there and you know that they are there and that you are their support system. You need to tell them who to turn to for help, and give them a few different options, or they'll end up turning to the cool kid who smokes in the junior high school bathroom. The earlier you can set that wheel in motion, the better success you will have in the long run.
Shannon is a mother surviving the onset of her children's puberty with a tiny shred of sanity. She writes here and on her blog, Whiskey in my Sippy Cup. Tags: Kidspuberty
I have 4 kids and one of my daughters went through it when she was 5 or 6. She is now almost 10. It was not fun. She has a bit of a sassiness about her. I think my 8 year son is going through it now and I need to approach it soon. My 5 year old is very blunt and will tell him straight out "YOU STINK"! I do not want his little feelings hurt.
