There are few things I enjoy more than a good schedule. For several years, we had it down to an art: bath at 7:15 (7:00 for extra play time), downstairs for milk by 7:30, brush teeth, read stories, lights out at 8:00. By 8:15, I could have the remnants of the day put away, the indulgences of choice in my hands—a nice glass of Chardonnay and a book, or a bowl of ice cream and the DVR remote—and the luxury of a few child-free moments before my husband and I fell exhausted into our own bed.

And then one day it happened. The question we hadn’t seen coming leapt from our oldest son’s mouth and shook me right out of my tightly scheduled utopia: “Can I stay up for a little while?”

For many parents, the waning hours of the day are the last bastion against a world completely dominated by Elmo and chicken nuggets. I know many mothers who watch the clock slowly tick away the minutes until bedtime, not because they are bad mothers, but because they are good mothers who devote the majority of their time and energy to their children. Those brief hours we reserve for ourselves in the evening become sacred as a result.

So too could it be sacred time for an older sibling. Perhaps as children become older, as they pull away from the activities that their younger siblings enjoy, they also begin to crave “grown up” time. But letting children explore their newfound emotional maturity needs to be balanced with their physical needs.

According to WebMD, children between 3 and 6 years old need from 10¾ to twelve hours of sleep a day. Once a child is between 7 and 12 years old, that need drops to between ten and eleven hours.

If bedtime is already 8:30, and he gets out of bed for school by 6:30, any more time would cut into the time his body needs to rest and recover from the day. But a lot of kids I know would be willing to hit the showers early if it meant an extra half-hour of kid-friendly TV time that wasn’t geared toward the preschool set.

Now, the routine in our house has changed a bit. The younger kids are still tucked in tightly by 8:00. But if our older son wants, he can curl up with Mom and a book—his glass contains milk, of course—or sit back and enjoy an episode of Mythbusters with Dad.

The world didn’t come crashing down around me when my beloved schedule changed. In fact, I appreciate the extra opportunity I have to spend a little time with my little boy, because I know he’s really not so little anymore.

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