As a working wife of a stay-at-home dad (SAHD), I am confident in the family decision we made a decade ago to engage this kind of lifestyle. If you're thinking of transitioning to a SAHD family, it's important to consider how your children will feel about the new arrangement. Even if you're not, taking the time to ask your children how they feel about your work, or anything at all for that matter, is a good idea. Open communication is the key.
Start by asking them how they feel about your working outside the home. Ask them what they might like to change. Granted, it may not be in your power to change anything, but then again ... perhaps it is. If your children want more time with you, consider a flexible schedule. I work a compressed four-day week so that I can be at home every Friday. That also gives me the added benefit of a three-day weekend every week. I arranged this with my employer and it has made a world of difference in my family-balancing act. Not to mention, my stay-at-home husband gets a bit of a break after being a Monday-Thursday SAHD.
If you're already living the SAHD lifestyle, reconnect with your children for an update. Do they respect your husband? Listen to him? Like him? Love him? Are they happy spending the day with him while you are away at work? Or are they moaning by the front window waiting listlessly for you to pull into the driveway?
For some children, there is nothing better than the idea of staying home with dad all day. Others may be too young to notice any difference. Others may express some concern. The important thing is to listen to what they say. Consider their views and balance their responses against the advantages you see in having a stay-at-home husband.
Whether you're part of a SAHD family or not, your children will benefit by your taking an interest in how they feel. They may surprise you, like my daughter did, in telling me that she liked my working. She liked that I was out there making money to provide food, shelter and clothing for her. She liked that I was engaged in my community, making measurable accomplishments and feeling good about contributing to society. And she and her brother like spending time with dad. "No offense, Mom, but Dad's more fun than you."
Engaging them will also promote a sense of unity among all family members. Everyone, from the oldest to the youngest, should feel that they are making positive contributions to the family. Making your children part of decision-making is a great way to help with this. We recently bought a new car. We took our children with us every time we went to dealerships so they could try out the back seats, crawl around, decide what they liked and didn't want. We asked them questions, asked them their opinions, asked them why they liked/disliked a particular model. Then we had a family meeting and made our final decision. Needless to say, we love our new car -- and so do our children.
At the end of the day, taking the time to involve your children, really stop and listen to them, and implement some of their ideas will do wonders.
(For more tips and info about life in a SAHD family, visit my Web site at www.ParenTeam.com, a resource for working wives of SAHDs.)