Does your family have a Master Plan?

Written by Jamie Hayden

Monday, 14 January 2008

Having a Master Plan is especially important when you're the working wife of a stay-at-home dad (SAHD) because roles are less clearly defined to begin with, but any family can create one, and probably should. Here's why.

A family Master Plan is the foundation on which you build and manage your home. It defines who does what to contribute to the family's overall health. Best of all, if you don't have a family Master Plan, you can easily create and implement one.

During the process of creating your Master Plan, you and your husband (and your children if they are old enough to take on household chores) define your roles, jobs and responsibilities, so that you can function cohesively as a team. You'll become crystal clear about what needs to be done to make your household run smoothly and who is accountable for what.

Step 1: Clarifying Roles and Responsibilities Get a big sheet of paper and draw a line down the center of it. Write your name at the top of one column, and your husband’s at the top of the other column. Sit down at a quiet table and have a meaningful conversation about what chores you are willing to tackle and which ones your husband is willing to complete, and fill them in on the sheet of paper.

Feel free to include your children in this project by creating columns for them and helping them fill in their family responsibilities. Be honest with yourself about what you can take on and what you have time for.

Think of things that make you feel better about what you're doing; things that may reinforce your decision to be the working parent, or things that keep you attached to what you enjoy doing. Have your husband do the same. If you love to bake, put yourself in charge of school baking projects. If your husband can't stand night-time bath duty, consider switching that for something you're not too keen about doing. Be flexible.

Step 2: Reviewing Your List and Fine-Tuning Nothing is ever set in stone. Once your Master Plan is in action, feel free to tweak it here and there until it truly works for your family. If one of your chores is cleaning the microwave and you just can't get to it, your husband or another family member might offer to help out if you’re willing to help prepare dinner one weeknight or offer to take on another household task.

Step 3: Letting Him Run His Own Show This is probably the most important rule, and one of the most difficult for us working moms to follow because it means giving up some of our control. The goal here is to respect your stay-at-home husband (or any other family member for that matter) for who he is and what he does.

As a SAHD, he's completely switching gears from his prior job in the traditional workforce and swimming upstream in a sea of stay-at-home moms and nannies. This is not easy. Any working wife of a SAHD who is worth her salt will tell you to appreciate him for what he is doing for the good of your children – and for you.

Step 4: Having Confidence in Your Master Plan If you've been completely honest with yourself and have thought carefully about how your family best functions and have written down everything that needs to be done in order to keep your momentum going, then congratulations!

Post your family Master Plan inside a kitchen cabinet (so that it's visible to your family but to nobody else) and refer to it when needed. Have confidence in knowing that your family is better organized, optimized and running at full steam - and that you're all on the same page moving forward.

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