I had the pleasure of interviewing one of the Internet’s most popular parenting advice bloggers—Moxie of Ask Moxie. In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that we are friends; we met in the blogosphere and got to know each other, and she attended my baby shower. So I fully admit that I am fairly biased in this interview. If you aren’t reading Ask Moxie, you should be.

There is no better place to get clear, concise, non-shaming advice out there. Best of all, Moxie freely admits when she is conflicted or confused about an issue, so that the comment section then becomes a font of useful information on the subject. Moxie doesn’t just deal with parenting issues, although she says, “I could post two to three sleep questions every day, based on my inbox.” This week she’s been discussing the relationships between adult children and their parents, and how to cope with setting boundaries in those relationships.

She receives three to 15 questions on any given day, and they vary wildly (with the exception of the “how do I get my baby to sleep?” questions). I asked her how she chooses the questions she answers. She says, “I try to do a mix, and sometimes the question is just so random and funny—like the one I got about the woman whose in-laws were dealing pot on Christmas Day!” (Her advice was stellar on that one, by the way). She goes on to say, “And sometimes there’s just something that touches me and makes me think the person needs the outpouring of support she’ll get from the commenters.”

When Moxie answers a question, she draws on her own experience as a parent. She’s the proud mother of two boys, ages five and two. In her “About Me” section on her blog she says: “I think everyone's doing a much better job parenting their kids than they think they are. Most of the time the advice I give is either 1) cut yourself a break because you're doing the best you can, 2) cut yourself a break and ask for some help so you can get a little perspective and self-confidence back, or 3) you think you have one big insurmountable problem but you really have four small ones, so pull them apart and solve one at a time.”

This is exactly how she answers the questions on her blog—she pulls apart the issue until it seems very clear, and then posits her own suggestions about how to cope with it, and then asks her commenters for additional input. She also states in her “About Me” section, “I'm really not sure how it happened, but for some reason the comments section of this blog is pretty flame-free. Maybe because I'm fairly anti-dogma, so people can say 'this worked for me but it might not work for you' instead of having to put up a big façade all the time.” This is wonderful because it makes her blog a really safe place to ask questions and get information without feeling like you are being walloped over the head with the writer’s agenda.

Moxie doesn’t feel like she quite fits the Mommy Blogging label. “I think I call myself a mommy blogger for the same reason I call myself a feminist—it pisses me off when people use those words derogatorally.” But because she doesn’t really write about her kids on a regular basis, other than to share her parenting experiences, she doesn’t feel like a true a “mommy blogger.” I asked if not writing about her kids is a conscious choice, and it is. “I don’t want to write anything they wouldn’t want anyone to be able to read when they’re 12 or 25 and interviewing for a job. But also just because the details aren’t as interesting to anyone else as they are to me.” I’d beg to differ—one story she did share about her son gluing the cat’s tail was pretty funny.

We talked a bit about the business of blogging, something I’ve been thinking about a great deal as I head off to the BlogHer conference (not to mention ever since I heard that the blogger Dooce is purported to earn $40K a month from her ad revenue). Currently Ask Moxie gets about 40,000 hits a month, and she does use ads on her blog, albeit very discreetly. While she doesn’t earn $40K a month (“yet,” she laughs), the ad revenue does help her bottom line.

When I asked what she’d like to see the blog grow into, she said she’s love to get syndicated into newspapers. “I don’t want to be Dear Abby,” Moxie says. “I don't want to have lacquered hair and a smiling face and the image that everything's great all the time and people need something I have. But the great thing about it would be that women who are feeling crappy about how they're doing who never go on the internet could get a little bit of a dose of reality.”

A friend has suggested she position herself more like Erma Bombeck, whom she calls “the first mommy blogger.” But she claims she’s not as funny as Erma. Personally, I’d beg to differ, but I will agree that Moxie has a totally different approach to parenting than Erma did. “Syndication isn’t the only plan. I definitely feel like there are books in my future.”

I asked Moxie what she loves about blogging. “My favorite thing about blogging is helping people not feel alone and like failures. And since I think the root of most people’s pain is in isolation, the goal should be increasing connection. Even if they don’t agree with my opinions, I hope they take away from it that they’re doing the best they can and everything’s going to be OK, even if it’s never perfect.”

Her least favorite thing? “That I don't have enough time to do it. I write better blog posts in the morning, but never have the time then. It's hard to get motivated to write at 11 pm. And that I never get to all the questions people send in. If I had the time I'd answer everyone in person.” That’s Moxie in a nutshell—generous to a fault. I wanted to keep chatting with Moxie, but we had to stop eventually (one of the perils of being a mommy blogger—eventually you have to stop typing and start entertaining your kids). If you want to know more, check out her site. You won’t be sorry.

You'll find Ask Moxie here.

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