This article talks about finding your back to your marriage when you've been affected by autisim. The journey can be so difficult and hard when your marriage is on the rocks. This article gives you some tips and ideas of what a family has endured and how you can climb that mountain together with love.
When your child is diagnosed with autism, people often wonder how does it affect your marriage. Does the sun still shine bright in your marriage when the news of your child’s
Disability seems so gloomy. As a mother I felt as if my world was closed, a tidal wave of worries and doubt drowning me. One day I sat on my mother’s couch when I received the news about my boy and asked, "What did I do to deserve this? I have been a good person, and I always help others why me, why my child?" Those questions rung inside my head like a school bell going off.
I watch my oldest grow from a toddler to this big boy that tries so much to make an effort. I watch him struggle and meltdown each and every time, all I know how to do is hold him and love him as only a mother could. Sometimes we take our attention off the rest of the family to concentrate on the ones that need us also. So as a mother I stop the tears and started my mission to get my child the best help he needs. Little do some people know fighting for Occupational Therapy or even extra programs and I.E.P is like going to war.
Fathers deal with the news differently. I felt my husband and I were headed on two different paths when it came to our son. Sometime I would watch him try to make him understand something like (A is for Apple) but it wasn’t registering to our son. In relationships sometimes the husband and wife find themselves drifting further and further away.
The father goes through a denial stage and thinking about his child’s dreams and hopes he foreseen for his son. We would argue over the little tiny things even a tooth brush when it was really about our son. One day my husband and I were debating about what our son needs, he was so angry that he was about to walk out of the door, when all of sudden he yells out “ He’s my damn son too! And it hurts”. I watched this 6’5 grown man fall on the floor in tears. We cried on the living room floor and started to pray.
I told him that we need each other if our son is going to make it out okay. When your family is going through a crisis dealing with autism , it’s best that you find a church home. Take some time to schedule family events. Start dating your husband all over again. Take a long vacation and spend time with other children you have also, as they tend to get neglected when your attention is focus mainly on your child.
Sometimes marriages don’t survive the outcome but if you and your ex still communicate with each other, try to build a foundation of friendship. Do continue to spend more time with the family. A family that prays together stays together and even though you have this rock in the middle of the road you can get around it with love and family. Be encouraged!
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