It used to be that when a woman gave birth, she was surrounded by women who could answer her questions, calm her fears, and advise her on what to do when it came to breastfeeding. Even though this is now rarely the case, information and help are always available when and if you need it.
When I gave birth to my first son, I planned to nurse him.
Unfortunately, he was a month early and came after a day and a half of gentle,
then not-so-gentle inducement. He was taken to the NICU, and I was taken to a
room, clutching a Polaroid picture of my new baby. Shortly thereafter, an
overworked nurse arrived in my room with a piece of machinery on a wheeled
cart, confirmed I planned to nurse, showed me where the buttons were, and left.
Seriously. That was my introduction to nursing.
Fortunately, my story had a happy ending. One of my
sisters-in-law is a post-natal nurse, and she saved me from total despair. She
has three sons of her own (all nursed), and was an expert baby wrangler. When I
told her that I had no idea how to feed my newborn (despite, may I add, reading
every book I was able to get my hands on during my pregnancy). Up until then,
it was just theory to me. She said that she could show me, but that she’d have
to touch my breasts to do it. You know, at that point, she could have hauled in
the janitor to show me, and I wouldn’t have cared. With a little work, some
adjustments, some words of encouragement, and some reassurance about preemies,
my son and I were off to a good start.
A happy ending? Well, not quite. We went through poor latch
on, problems with low appetite (his and mine), poor suck, poor latch on, my
return to work, biting, and the normal stresses every new mother faces. My mother
hadn’t had success with nursing either my brother or me, so I couldn’t turn to
her. My mother-in-law, who nursed eight children, lived six hours away. I had
no friends or neighbors with nursing experience. And I was too shy to ask my
sister-in-law for help.
I can’t quite remember who called whom, but I finally did
get in touch with a local mom-to-mom organization called Nursing Mothers. I
talked with a counselor over the phone, she sent me a bunch of fact sheets
about various aspects of nursing, I went to meetings with other moms, and I
eventually became a counselor myself.
So my experience with my older son had a happy ending. He’s
now a healthy, happy 13-year-old who’s nearly as tall as I am – quite a change
from that wizened little 5-pound baby.
My experience with my second son was like night and day. He
was what I’d describe as an enthusiastic nurser. Everything went smooth as silk
until it was time to wean. I had to resort to dressing in my closet so that he
didn’t see even a hint of bra or skin, which would set up demands for “nack”
(snack).
Remember I said that I became a Nursing Mothers counselor?
Well, you’d think that would mean that I was a savvy nursing mother in all
respects. So, guess who ended up with mastitis in one breast and didn’t figure
it out for a couple days? And who wound up screaming at the start of each
nursing session because the baby wasn’t latching on correctly, which led to
cracked, bleeding nipples? Yeah, that would be me.
In both cases I was able to turn to people or books for
information and help. So I was lucky. I’m also stubborn and pigheaded, which
made giving up not an option.
This is all a very long lead in to the main part of this
article: where to turn for information, advice, and reassurance about nursing.
If there’s one thing that’s available in abundance, it’s information. The key
is to line up your sources BEFORE you need them. When you’re tired, frightened,
or frustrated, it’s not going to help if you have to dig around for what you
need.
So, in the spirit of being prepared, here’s a list of
potential sources for help, should you need it during any stage of your nursing
experience. Please: if you need help, ASK. There IS help out there … all you
need to do is reach out for it.
Your ob/gyn or midwife
Your pediatrician or family physician
Your local hospital or birth center
Certified lactation consultants
Local nursing organizations, like La Leche League
Moms’ clubs
Parenting organizations
Your house of worship
Friends or relatives who’ve nursed
Your local library or bookstore
The Internet
Most of this help is available free; some is available for a
fee (but check with your insurance company to see if it will cover, for
example, consultation with a certified lactation consultant). And if you ask
and can’t find help there, then ask if they can refer you to someone who can
help you.
Even people like me, who you’ve never met but who have
nursed, are often willing to lend you the support you need. When it comes to
needing nursing help, you’re never really alone.