I have an ex-husband and my current husband has an ex-girlfriend. We each have one child with our exes. My son from my first marriage currently resides with his dad (a new arrangement since last summer when my son turned 13) and my stepson lives full-time with us.

I resent my ex husband beyond all reason for "taking" my son from me - the child whom he did not want and asked me to abort, the child whom he spent no time with as a baby, the child he thought was "no fun" when he was unable to 'walk and talk'. I got all the years of teaching my son how to tie his shoes, wipe his butt and use his manners and now my ex gets to sport a "My child is an honor student!" bumper sticker on his Jeep.

I guess those meetings for my son's IEP, his Reading Recovery program and his speech therapy wherein I was the only parent in attendance have really paid off. As for my husband's ex, well, let's just say that mental health issues take on a whole new meaning when you're attempting to co-parent with someone who is incapable of being rational. When I say, "I'd like to talk to you" and she runs away screaming, "I'm not here to fight with you!!" - um, no, I wasn't planning to fight, either - that's why I said "talk" LOL

Despite it all, we still have to ensure we speak no ill of the other parents in front of any of our kids. And the kids definitely have BIG ears, so we have to mind ourselves very carefully. It can be extremely challenging to always be the parent taking the high road. In fact, at times, it just royally sucks. But for the sake of the kids, it's the most important thing to do.

I know all of our efforts will pay off in the long run, some day our kids will be parents and will realize as they look into their new baby's face how very much their own parents loved them - or should have loved them. In that moment, I expect our kids will see clearly how stable and steady their dad and I were. I hope they realize in that moment how much sacrifice it took to rise above every day frustrations with the BS from the exes and just put the kids' needs first.

And even if they don't see it right away, I know in time it will come. Even if they never say thanks, it's doing the right thing for the most precious children whom we chose to bring into this world that will matter to me in the long run. And I hope it's a lesson that gets passed on to the next generation & beyond. Remember, today will soon be a memory, but what you show your children today will follow you for many, many tomorrows!

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