A new study from researchers at Duke University, Johns
Hopkins University and the University of Maryland concludes that parents punish
older children more harshly than younger ones.
For some reason, my mind wandered quite a bit when I was first asked
this question. Here's a little sample of some of those thoughts that
bounced around in my busy-mamma-brain.
First of all- having one
child is far different from having six. My neighbor across the street
had a baby the other day. Three of my friends just happened to stop
by during the course of the carpet cleaner's visit. She had to have
them shampooed before she brought the baby home. If you have several
children, this idea might make you burst a kidney with laughter, too.
The
lady, bless her sweet new mamma's heart, isn't the only person to
behave in such a way. When my first child was born, I was so nervous
that I freaked out whenever my husband even held her. it was nothing
personal against him, but I just "knew" that no one else understood
her. One of my favorite cousins went for several months without
speaking to one of her parents because they made a game of clapping in
the baby's face. She was afraid the baby would be scared and
neurotic.
Such obsessive parenting skills don't lend themselves
very well to parenting a large family. The more time you spend around
children, I think you begin to learn that they're not going to break,
and they're not going to be traumatized by exposure to people with
ideas and practices different than mommy's.
In my opinion, this
is the root of why we parent our younger children in a more permissive
manner than we do with our older children.
When you only have
one child, or two, it is easy to feel that every thing the child does
is a reflection of you. Sure, you love the child as an individual,
sure you appreciate their personalities and nuances. However, I
believe there is more of 'at stake" when you've only got one shot.
In a large family, you can always say "Well, two of them turned out just fine!"
Seriously
now, all joking aside- big family mammas, do you believe your older
children are held to stricter standards than your younger ones?
I'm not sure what the study was about exactly- but sure, I expect more of my older children, because they are older. They have more responsibilities, and I rely on them. That seems like a no-brainer to me. Do they get punished more harshly? I would have to say no, and I dislike the term harsh applied to discipline at all. Discipline is teaching and nurturing, and might be hard, but hopefully never harsh!
Mom Types 
