My husband and I went through the state foster care program about a year ago because we were really feeling led to explore adopting, but lacked the funds to go overseas and such. We had heard that if you adopted out of foster care in New York, it was basically free, plus there are sooooo many kids just waiting for homes here that we didn't feel like we had to look any farther.

So we took the foster care class, making our intentions of only adopting known from the outset. After we finished the class, the social worker clarified for us that the chances of us being able to adopt anyone under the age of 7 (we were determined to stay younger than our youngest) were very slim.

They strongly encouraged us to move into doing foster care, and began calling us with potential matches, some appropriate for our family and some far from anything close to a fit. We resisted, determined to stick with adoption only. Then and only then we were notified that if we did not accept a placement for foster care from this particular agency, we would have to repay the cost of the training we had taken, in excess of $1,000 (never mentioned before!!). Wow. We took a deep breath, thought, prayed, and decided to see what happened next.

Near Christmas we got a call for foster care for a toddler and I got the impression that it might turn into a long term thing, so we agreed to give it our best shot. We added a two year old high energy little boy to our family shortly thereafter. This little boy is amazingly happy and well adjusted, healthy and sweet, really just a cutie pie, and we don't regret saying yes, though we won't know what our future with him is for quite some time.

The part that has been the trickiest is not the caring for and meeting the needs of this new child, but meeting the needs of our biological kiddos. When we thought about it before, talked with others, and even were in our foster parent training, I totally underestimated the impact that adding a new child, whether it be permanently or for a short time, would have on our children.

We have dealt with major jealousy, birth order confusion (is that a real thing?), and just outright nastiness. We have tried to use straight talk, consequences, guilt, everything in the arsenal, to curb the problems. We have spent sleepless hours wondering if we are causing irreparable damage to our relationships with our daughters.

The very same children that I just mentioned in the above paragraph have also, sometimes in the very same day, or even the very same hour, shown incredible acceptance, compassion, and kindness. They have displayed a depth of understanding that I didn't realize that they possessed, and have stepped up to help out in ways we've never seen in them before. Those moments make us sleep a little better, and remind us that our children are learning how to truly love, how to love someone who can do nothing at all for them in return. Our children are growing in ways they never could without sharing our home with this little one.

We thought that we would be helping the child who we brought into our home, and hopefully we have, but we have been helped so much more. It has not been an easy road, and most likely will not be, but it is a good one.

"Anyone who takes care of a little child like this is caring for me! And whoever cares for me is caring for God who sent me. Your care for others is the measure of your greatness."

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