Survive the First Year as a Single Mom

The first year of single parenting is the toughest. Suddenly, you feel like you’ve been thrown into a dark cave with no one to help or at least accompany you while searching for a light. It is during this time that you learn and adapt yourself to being a single parent. It is never easy but you need to take the first step to move forward. No one expects to be a single parent and it’s how you see the big picture of whether it is a blessing or a curse will shape the way you deal with being a single parent.

The first thing you need to do is to find a support network. You need to find out who you can trust and rely on such as your family members or friends. Make a list of the people who you think will help you through your hardship and be there when you need them. It is important to have them so you don’t feel lonely. You can also join a single parent support group if available in your area.

Asking for help is the toughest thing to do. Many people shy away from the idea of asking for help from other people for fear of rejection or simply because of ego. Help from other people is a wonderful gift as you get to be closer to each other and there is a real sense of security whenever you are having troubles.

I know it is difficult to find time to be alone, apart from your children, but it is crucial to have some ‘alone’ time so you can heal your heart and soul. You will have a clearer vision of what’s to come and how you will deal with it. You need time to think about the future and about yourself.

If you still find that it is difficult to get some time to yourself, consider getting a baby sitter. Maybe you can arrange to have a neighbor to take care of your child for a few hours. Another way is to get up earlier than everyone else in the house. That way, you get some quality time for yourself and this will increase your inner strength.

Spend some quality time with your children. You can play simple board games, taking a walk in the park or simply have a talk about anything. It is important to make yourself available when they need you and emotionally involved when you are with them. That way, you will improve your communication with your children and strengthen your relationship.

So, every now and then you are feeling blue and there are times you feel like crying out loud. It is ok to grieve. There are many ways to express yourself. You can keep a journal to express your thoughts. If you have a reliable friend, you can schedule a time for you to let go of yourself and cry and vent out your anger. There are different situations that lead you into becoming a single parent, whether it is the loss of your loved one or the end of the marriage; therefore it is normal for you to grieve before you are ready to move on.

You may feel like everything is laying heavily on your shoulder and you are suffocating from having too much to handle and as a result, you are not taking care of your health. This is the time when you need to be healthy and strong as you have children you need to take care of. Eat healthily and eat more of vegetables and fruits. Avoid being dependant on caffeine to fuel your body. In the end, you will be even worse than before. Instead try to exercise by taking a walk around the neighborhood.

Once you have managed to follow these steps within a year, you are ready to face anything that comes at you later. There is no reason why you cannot be a successful single parent and raise your children into becoming great people when they are older. You can be a single parent and raise your children successfully as any other parents, perhaps even better as long as you are determined and persistent