We've all heard that becoming a mother for the first time is a life altering event. Your whole world changes and life as you knew it ceases to exist. I mean, at this point, all the warnings are almost cliche as they are echoed across the generations and in all corners of the country. What people sometimes fail to mention, however, is that becoming a new mother can also be a very isolating experience.
When you bring home your new bundle of joy, you become a round-the-clock caretaker. And, at first, that brand new baby bliss (or "baby-moon") fills you with such unimaginable joy that you don't even notice the isolation creeping in.
However, as the weeks pass, and you enter into baby care "auto-pilot", you realize that (if you haven't already done so), you NEED to venture back out into the world again. As much as you love this new little being with all your heart and soul, the truth is you are also starting to miss some of your pre-baby freedoms.
Unfortunately, upon this realization, some of us are still unsure of what to do with ourselves. Sure, we can go out shopping or for a walk in the park, but we can only do these things so many times before they, too, become a part of the "routine."
So, here is my best advice: Join a moms' group. They have them everywhere. Find one. Yes, even if you have to drive 30 minutes to attend. I simply cannot put into words how helpful it is to make new "mommy friends."
Joining a moms' group can provide you with any and all of the following (and more!):
Advice - Even if you don't agree with the advice you get, at least it will give you something to think about and provide you with a fresh perspective.
Support - Moms understand the challenges we all face raising our children and, therefore, someone in the group will always be willing to lend a hand for helping or an ear for listening.
Fun - Meeting up with other moms for play dates or Moms Night Out is a great way to get yourself out of the house, to break free from the routine and to try new things.
Ideas - A moms' group will be a source of new ideas for anything you might be looking for: from what to cook for dinner to what Halloween costume to make or buy. And group members are always happy to share their ideas with each other.
Resources - A moms' group can help you find: a new doctor, a delicious restaurant, a cool website, a great book, a fabulous hair salon, and SO much more...
Friendship - Having new friends to share in your life experiences will make you a happier person and a better mom (ever heard the expression, "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"?).
So, don't make the same mistake I did. Don't wait until your child is already running around to go out looking for a group. Start when your baby is young and make some friends for yourself too!
I actually have horrid experiences with "mommy" groups. I left cliques behind in high school. I don't have the time or patience to break through the walls of a clique nowadays! When you live in an area as small as I do, with so little in the way of mommy's groups anyway, and you're not originally from the area, it's almost "impossible" to break into the "in crowd."
I understand the small-town clique thing completely. I have lived in a small midwest town now for 9 years but am still a "stranger." I used to connect to the outside world through my job and lost that when I chose to stay home with the little one. It really is difficult when the other mommies in town are women who sometimes go as far as to pretend not to hear me when I say hello in the grocery store!
Very valid point. It must be difficult moving to a small town with limited group options. And it is true that there are some very "clique-y" moms groups out there; however, there truly are some really wonderful ones, too. I also used internet groups for support for a long time, but eventually came to a point (after moving to a new place where I knew virtually no one) where I NEEDED to get out and socialize with real, live people. Sometimes, with a little patience, the right group will come along; it took me several months to find my group. And, if a mom discovers that she just can't find the "right" group nearby, then she can always start a new one! We all have to do what works best for our situations. Good luck to all the mommies out there who are searching...
It's true that finding a mom's group you "click" with can sometimes be difficult, here's an approach you can try.
Look at the mom's group almost as a "business" meeting where you get to mingle with other moms in the "business" and hear some things that might help you, and even just as a way to see and talk with some other adults. If you go into the mom's group expecting it to become your new circle of friends, I think you're setting yourself up for some disappointments if it doesn't work out.
The other part to think about is that eventually your child will be looking for other kids to play with. Being around the same children (and parents) can help her or him learn how to socialize, feel comfortable around other people, and maybe make some long-time friends.
I didn't always get along with my mom group friends, buy the kids always played together and they were happy to see each other so I kept going.
You can also try different mom groups to see which one fits you and your child better. They're not all the same.
And, finally, you can find the same kind of cameraderie by meeting moms at local parks. I used to meet lots of moms and their kids this way.
Mom Stages 
Thanks for the info I'll add it.
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