Four years ago, my husband (who was only my boyfriend at the time) and I moved halfway across the country for my awesome new job in TV news. I was following a dream, and he was kind enough to come with me. So we left sunny Southern California and headed for the midwest, leaving behind all our family and friends. As far as my career goes (and in the end, my husband’s too); our move turned out to be the right one. But now we find ourselves in the difficult position of being new parents with no family of our own within 1,000 miles.
I know we’re not alone in this—we live in a time when the job market has made it common for people to be more and more mobile. Some of us left our hometowns to seek better opportunities, others just wanted to see life from a different geographical or cultural perspective. But for whatever reason we venture out, it all changes when we become parents.
Traditionally, new parents are surrounded by extended family to offer help and advice. As a stressed and sleep deprived new mom I find myself wanting my own mommy, and a phone call is often the best I can do. We’re making it work, though, day by day.
These are the lessons I’ve picked up along the way (and wish I’d figured out sooner!).
Build a network before you have a baby
In the absence of your biological family, a family of friends is the best thing in the world. For me, finding that network wasn’t easy. It took work and a little courage that I didn’t know I had.
I had to put myself out there and extend lunch invitations to acquaintances I met through my job or my husband’s job who I thought I might connect with. I had to accept party invitations from people I didn’t know all that well. In the end, however, it has all been so worth it, especially now that I’m a parent. These were the people who offered help when I was so pregnant I could barely function, and who came to meet my son while we were in the hospital.
However you do it, just do it! Join a new or expecting moms group. Find people who share your hobbies (knitting group worked for me!). The options are limitless.
Accept the help that you’re offered
This one is hard for a lot of us. People say “let me know if there’s anything I can do!” and we say “great, thanks!” and then never think about it again. But when you don’t have family to depend on for things like emergency babysitting, you just might have to start taking people up on their offers.
Figure out who is sincere in their offers and who is just offering pleasantries. I have one friend who sincerely loves being with babies, and she’s been a lifesaver when my husband and I have had overlapping schedules—but it was hard to send that first email when we needed her… “So remember how you said you’d love to watch the baby some time?”
Another friend and I trade off babysitting in the mornings when we have appointments. I’ve found that people really do want to help you. You just have to be willing to let them.
Start a blog
While I was on maternity leave, the station I work for wanted me to blog about my experiences as a new mom so that viewers could keep up with me. I was a little hesitant at first… but now I am so grateful. Blogging has been such a wonderful and worthwhile experience, and I think it is truly crucial to surviving new parenthood when your family is far away.
It will give you the opportunity to connect with other moms for help, support, and understanding, and will give you a foot in the door to the amazing community of Mommy Bloggers. Also, when your friends and family back home ask for new pictures of the baby all the time (and believe me, they will!), it is so convenient to just refer them to your blog for all the pictures and updates they could ever want!
Start a travel fund
Once you have a baby, your parents suddenly become grandparents—and grandparents want (and sometimes demand!) to be visited. Depending on how far away you are from home, this can be an extremely expensive undertaking. If you can afford to, start putting some money aside every month. By the time it’s actually time to make the journey home a few times a year, it won’t be such a pain in the bank account.
It isn’t easy to be far from your parents and family when you join those parental ranks, but there are rewards along with the drawbacks. You’ll prove to everyone- yourself included- that you can stand on your own two feet. You’ll feel freer to make your own decisions and find your own way as a parent. And when all else fails, you can remember that a little parental advice is only a phone call away!
Mom Stages 
Thanks for the info I'll add it.
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