Musings from BlogHer... One of the BlogHer panels was called "Is Mommy Blogging Still A Radical Act?" and it left quite an impression on this here Mommy Blogger. What that panel has gotten me thinking about.
Honestly, prior to BlogHer, I never considered whether or not Mommy Blogging is radical . As the daughter of a pretty darn radical feminist (I spent much of my childhood marching), it's hard for me to consider something as simple as writing about parenting as radical. Radical--to me--has always meant sticking it to the "man" and how can Mommy Blogging be sticking it to the "man?"
At the panel one mom put it perfectly (and for the life of me I cannot find out who she was, so I can't link to her blog--if you know, please tell me and I will remedy that immediately). She said something like this (and I'm quoting from memory, so bear with me if it's not exactly correct:
I started blogging because I was furious at Dr. Sears and all the other people that filled my head with bullshit about parenting. No one told me I'd spend my days covered in vomit and poop with hardly a chance to breathe, much less shower.
I think that pretty says it all, doesn't it? The truth is, in a way, blogging about the realities of parenting is not only a radical act, in my opinion, but an inherently feminist one. I realize no everyone wants to tarnished with the feminist brush (more's the pity), but if you think about the history of writing about parenting, it's always been in the hands of men. The most obvious example is the now much-maligned Dr. Sears (since he was a man) but even the parenting books written by women were often edited by men, and published by companies that were owned by men. Parenting magazines were filled with advertisements designed by men, and many of them were owned and operated by men as well (that has changed in recent days, but I don't think anyone can deny that parenting magazines are generally at the mercy of their advertisers).
Mommy Blogs, however, are owned and operated by women. They get to speak directly about their parenting experiences without the filter of an editor or a publisher--or the restrictions of ads (sure, lots of bloggers run ads on their sites, but I don't know any that worry about "offending" the advertisers. Hell, I was just fired by AdSense on my blog because they declared my content "pornographic." Has that changed what I blog? Hell no). They can talk not only about the dark side of parenting, but the joyful side, the funny side, and they can do it all in their own voice without much more trouble than the occasional troll (I just dealt with a lovely troll on my site the other day--while a pain, it's still much better than an editor that wants to appease his advertisers).
So I say, YES! Mommy Blogging is indeed still radical, and more so all the time because for the first time, mothers are driving the conversations. And it's not just about parenting--it's also about industry.
At another BlogHer panel called "The Commercial Momosphere " a public relations person got up and said that blogging, as a whole, has confounded the industry that produces all the crap we're supposed to buy. For the first time, a company cannot control the information about its product. Think about it: in previous days, a company made a product, produced ads that described it as they preferred, and then placed those ads in areas that would prevent honest reviews of the products occurring (in other words, threatening organizations like small parenting magazines with losing revenue from ads if the reviews were negative). Basically, a corporation didn't so much discuss a product as issue pronouncements. Can you think of the last time you read a negative review of a product in a magazine? Neither can I.
But now, for the first time, people are turning to blogs to learn more about the products they are considering buying, forcing companies to actually engage in a dialog about those products--a dialog they have to engage in with bloggers.
That, too, is truly radical.
Luckily for me, I found blogs by mothers before I became a parent. The last parenting book I read (I believe it was What To Expect Your First Year) I symbolically burned in my fireplace it pissed me off so thoroughly. Because I read so many blogs, nothing that happens with my daughter really surprises me--and the rare questions I have I just post in my own blog and get more real-life experience and feedback than any book could give me. I see how clearly the mom blogosphere has helped me when I watch my husband be confounded by my daughter and I say, "Oh, that's normal... so-and-so mentioned that in her blog and lots of commenters agreed." And like all mothers prior to the blog world, he has to just take my word for it.
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