How are we doing? aaahhhh.....Well, I thought I would start with talking about wedded bliss!
I have been married for 11 years and I have 3 children. I sometimes wonder how or why I got myself into this, but as I look back through these last 11 years, they have been the hardest and most trying times of my life, but also the most rewarding.
I have 2 young toddlers aged 2 and 3 and they certainly keep me and my husband on our toes, but we have managed to find a happy medium, where my husband and I get time together after the kids are in bed. We make the most of this and talk about the most important things for us as a family and also we have time to talk about the changes our children are going through.
The most important thing I have learned over this time is that if I dont put my husband first then the family doesnt run correctly. This has been a hard lesson to learn, because with little children especially, because they are so young and cant do anything for themselves then you have to do it, but our husbands can often feel left out and become frustrated as they are our helpmeet and most importantly need to feel loved and appreciated, this is where the distance can grow between a couple, I have found this in my own marriage.
I now find that we have to go on a date at least once a week as we can often become strangers if this is not done.
Our children are a huge part of our lives, but when they have grown up and left to fend for themselves, we only have eachother and if we have not invested time and effort in our marriage and kept our own individual interests going, we can often get lost and lose who we are as a person.
Anyway, I hope that there are some of you out there that know what I am talking about as I would love to hear from you.
Chuckling to myself as I read your post. Married 19 years this year, with three children (the oldest of whom has moved to college dorms!), I completely understand. Our "dates" were most often sneaking out at 70 a.m. on a Saturday to have a quiet breakfast at McDonald's and discuss life, the week, our goals, etc., before hitting Home Depot and getting back to the job of caring for the home and family. The oldest would steer the younger two toward the television to the Holy Grail of Children's Television: Saturday Morning Cartoons. All in all, everyone was happy and, like you, I fully intend to be happily married when my kids have moved out!
How lovely to hear from you, Its really nice to hear from other mothers and I intend of taking a few tips from you all.
Thanks very much
Liana x
sbarton1220
- Family and Marriage Editor
|69.223.135.xxx
|2008-10-10 20:29:34
Hi Liana,
I agree that a couple needs to stay connected in order to help the family function as a unit. As a full-time working mom with many other commitments on the side, it is really hard to keep things in perspective: I work 40-50 hours a week because I love my job and it helps put food on the table, but I'm also so exhausted from trying to "do it all," that I sometimes let things around the house slide and it's sometimes next to impossible to engage in an actual conversation with my husband once the dishes are done, lunches are packed, and the kids are in bed. But, I will say that once the effort is made, it is so worth it!
Kudos to you for the extra effort you're putting in! I really admire that level of dedication!
HMMMM I dont know about dedication, LOL!
But I do know that if I dont go the extra mile with these kids, who knows what society is going to do to them when they get a hold of them, so I am trying, and we are all in the same boat together, working on the same things, we all hope that we will have well adjusted children who will be good people.
Its just nice to have some support out there from other mothers doing the same thing and going through the same trials.
Thanks heaps for your comments.
Liana x
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0 a.m. on a Saturday to have a quiet breakfast at McDonald's and discuss life, the week, our goals, etc., before hitting Home Depot and getting back to the job of caring for the home and family. The oldest would steer the younger two toward the television to the Holy Grail of Children's Television: Saturday Morning Cartoons. All in all, everyone was happy and, like you, I fully intend to be happily married when my kids have moved out!
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