When my husband isn't sleeping one of two things is going on: the
kids are screaming and demanding or he's at work, so how does a busy
couple have a sex life? Very carefully, that's how.
I met my husband in college in 1996. We shared a class together in
English Literature. It's kind of a funny story actually. I walked into
class on the first day, a little early and the room was empty, except
for a large guy in a black leather jacket sitting in the back far left
corner and he appeared to be propped up by the stone wall next to him,
almost in a coma. Now normally you walk into a situation like that and
you sit far away from the stranger who appears to be a scary
individual, but not me, not on that day. I walk in and take a seat
right next to him. As soon as my butt hit the chair, I started to get
warm with embarrassment, when I quickly realized what I did. He didn't
seem to care and just went on with his heavy breathing. I later found
out it was allergies. We stayed friends on and off throughout the next
two years. Him with his torrid love affairs and groupie girls for the
boy that worked on the newspaper and came to work in his pajama's. I
with my nightly drinking and dancing with my girls, boy after boy that
I complained about and he warned me not to date. Then during an in
between for us both he gave me a call and asked me on a date. I went
and the next night he called me and said "I dig you". That was 1998.
It was puppy love ever since.
Then in 2000 we got married and at
first we had no aspirations to have kids. Then I wanted kids and he
didn't and then I was told I couldn't have kids and then I found a
doctor who said otherwise. Then he told me in Chili's that he wanted
kids too. Three kids later and I am ready to rip my ovaries out and he
wants a baseball team. With all of this said, where is the passion
that was said to go out of a marriage after the seven year itch of the
olden days or the five year dump as I now hear? I'm not bragging
either, because I'm not the only one. I know a few couples and let's
just say, the passion is definitely not just about Christ.
With
each child that I delivered I always had this overwhelming feeling that
my once virginal feature was going to be a warn out old bra that with
all the Kiegel's under the sun, there was going to be no hope. Boy was
I wrong. I wouldn't claim to be the same, with a new car smell or
anything, but it's just as if I was an old house and I hired an interior
decorator. She or he came in and just changed the drapes, painted the
walls and added a water fountain in the foyer. Voila, new house,
ready for new memories and holiday parties. My passions have
quadrupled with each passing (literally) child and my husband has
noticed. My desire to try new things and see where this leads kind of
attitude has really put this decade old relationship into a new state
of mind.
Now, don't get me wrong. There are days when I'm
too tired and he's too tired, or he's working or I'm up to my elbows in
baby food and its just not going to happen, no matter how much I wish I
was a Greek Goddess on the Island of Fiji. Go with it, okay. Yet,
finding the time and the shower before hand is easier when you know
that you both want it and now. If you are a new couple reading this
and your wondering how a couple could ever get to the point of not
wanting sex at all, trust me it happens. Whether its psychological,
physical or emotional, it can happen. Keep this in mind and one day
when you are an older couple, you can remember that sometimes a rocky
marriage can be solved with just a little sex. For women, sex is
emotional, for men its physical. Both are necessary in order to make
that connection for longevity in marriage. If you're an older couple
reading this and wonder how you can get it back if you lost it, its
easy. Put down the computer and find your mate. Get it on and do it as
if you were teenagers. Sex is the best rememdy for any ill feelings
that may be between you and yours. Even if you're mad, there's nothing
like mad sex. If your depressed and can't even imagine anybody
touching you, tell your mate to go slow and take their time and get you
there, you will feel better. If you're lonely, then get that physical
connection you are looking for. Up until the sexual revolution of the
1960's, women used to go to their doctors to get an orgasm. It was the
cure for everything that ails a woman. That still holds true, but
instead of getting it up in leg splints in a cold office, get it on the
kitchen table with your mate. You'll be glad you did. I know I am.
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