Losing a Possession to Gain Perspective

Sometimes, you need to go through something to change your way of thinking.  If you’re a reckless driver, a car accident may slow you down.  If you’re a workaholic, you may change your ways after your spouse leaves you.  If you’re ambivalent towards tragedies in other parts of the world, you may start paying attention when two planes take down buildings in the city in which you live.  Hopefully, eventually, people wake up from the narcissistic slumber we all seem to be in…but sometimes they don’t.

I’ve read many articles in parenting publications that say that children learn about giving back to their community by being shown by their parents.  This is so true, because if parents don’t consistently lead by example, then children don’t see the value in donating.  As a matter of fact, parents lead by example for everything in life, but that’s another article for another day.

My Mother has always done for everyone else without looking for anything in return.  She is the true definition of a caregiver.  One of the most important things she taught me was to give to others who are less fortunate because no matter how bad things may seem, there is always someone out there who has it worse than you.  I find myself being reminded of that a lot lately. 

I recently went through a loss that is personal to me but seems to be common news these days.  My first home, which I purchased with my ex-husband six years ago, is currently in foreclosure.  I just moved out last week.  My ex and I split almost two years ago but for some reason it took me almost a year before I could let go of the house and put it up for sale.  Long story short, we owed more that it was worth and attempted to do a short sale.  We had a buyer but the bank denied the short sale and pushed it into foreclosure.  This isn’t where my story ends…it’s where it begins.

If you have read previous articles of mine, you know that I am engaged to be married again.  I am lucky to have a new home for me and my son, thanks to my fiancé.  If it wasn’t for him, I would have had to seek out other living arrangements, but by no means would I have ever been homeless.  I know there are many others that aren’t as fortunate.

This is where my Mom comes in.  Her current occupation involves raising money for a shelter that takes in homeless families and battered women.  When she told me that their basement was flooded and they lost many of their clothing donations, my first instinct was to help and I’ve been able to pool my resources through friends and co-workers to help the shelter in their time of need.  I’ve donated to them before but this time, it really got to me.  Yes, I just went through a loss in my life but had someone to help me get back on my feet.  Other people aren’t so lucky. 

As I sit in my cubicle at my job and look and listen to the people around me, I wonder if they realize how good they have it.  How can I sit in my brand new house, knowing that someone out there has no place to put their children to bed?  How can I watch TV and hear about one more celebrity breakdown because being rich and famous is so difficult?  I will give credit to the celebrities who do actually donate their money, especially the ones that don’t publicize it because they genuinely want to do it, or the ones that realize they already have enough “stuff” and donate that as well.  I gained a little more respect for Christina Aguilera when I heard that she put a card in her wedding invitations that said they did not want gifts given but were asking their guests to donate to the victims of Hurricanes Katrina & Rita instead (they got married in 2005).

I wish that I could do so much more for people in need but I am only one person.  Maybe this will point me into a new direction in my life.  Maybe everything does really happen for a reason.  One thing is for sure, I want to help people because I had a great person lead by example my entire life.  Thanks Mom.