Knowing when to hug and when to back slooooowwly away from your Boomerang kid is vital to having a decent relationship....
Suddenly, hugs are out. Touching, too. I gently touched my "adult" while she was sleeping and the reaction was as if I had poked her with a hot stick. "Hey, what are you doing?"
"Iwas gently waking you up."
"Well, don't."
Okay.
What happened? We used to be so affectionate, hugging, touching, just being there. Well, for one thing, your grown-up person residing with you has a lot of inner conflict going on.
Finding that great job, wondering if it'll EVER happen, and the "shame" of moving back home is over-powering. I may want to give great warm hugs on occasion, (that's just me) but for now, I know to read the signals and only offer affection at a distance.
It's really okay. Because we still have in-depth talks and are tolerant of one another, it's just that the relationships get all tangled up in confusion. We just moved to this strange new part of the country and were all set on living comfortably alone when life intruded. And in moves the Boomeranger. Make room!
Hey, when your kid needs to come come, that's where she belongs. No discussion. But the parameters of how to get along with three grown-ups in a small house (not to mention Maggie, our adorable Heinz 57 dog from the pound) are hard to establish.
And harder to implement. But mutual respect for one another is paramount. And when one person is down, the others must do their best to raise the spirits of the down-hearted. We've all been there. Or will be. One step forward, two back.
As long as the communication lines are open, it's all good, as my daughter is wont to say.
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