Everywhere I turn there are references to breastfeeding. Every mom I meet asks me the same question, "Are you nursing?" And even my formula can tells me that the best nourishment for babies is breastmilk. The problem is, I didn't produce any milk.
As I prepared for motherhood, I thought I was prepared for everything. I had read all the books, received everything off my registry, and had the nursery all set up ready for the baby. I had always planned on nursing, I had the nursing bras, the double electric breast pump, the pads, the lanolin, the boppy, the nursing shield, and even had the step by step how to.
The problem was, when the baby came, I didn't have the milk. The doctors weren't sure why my body had not produced any milk, but whether there was a diagnosis or not, I did not have milk to feed my baby. It was hard enough accepting the fact that I could not nurse my baby, but what made it harder was facing the rest of the world.
It seems these days that the conversation starter between mothers is always the same, no matter their age. Everyone wants to know if you are nursing and everyone wants to give you advice. At times I felt like lying rather than having to defend myself or admit that in their eyes I must be a "bad mom".
Every week on the news they would announce a new study about children that were breastfed. Studies concluded that breastfed children were less likely to gain weight, less likely to develop a variety of diseases, and even less likely to be successful! Not to mention the studies that found children had better relationships with their mothers if they were nursed. Everywhere I turned I faced it, even my formula can had a disclaimer that breast milk is the ideal nutrition for babies. I felt like a stigma to society and a failure as a mother.
Well the truth is, it is okay. Just because I can't breastfeed doesn't mean I'm a horrible mother. Although breastfeeding is the ideal, how many of us can actually say we are perfect? Formula provides the important nutrients babies need along with many of the enzymes found in breastmilk. My child and I have bonded fine and bottle feeding has allowed my husband bonding time as well. There are no guarantees in life that a breastfed child will live up to all the studies and there is no guarantee that a bottle fed child won't.
So for all you mothers out there that either can't or choose not to nurse, don't worry about what the rest of the world says or what everyone thinks. You are the best mom for your baby and can give him everything he needs.
This is so true! My first baby didn't gain weight on my milk, and I had to feed formula. Sometimes that the way it works, and that's ok. It is different with every child though, because I was able to successfully breastfeed my other 5. Don't worry what other people think, just do what's right for your baby!
Amen! I couldn't breast feed (and BOY did I try!) and it broke my heart, but it hasn't changed me as a mom or my daughter. We have a great connection and I've accepted that you do what you can. Thank goodness for formula I say. Imagine the mothers that couldn't breastfeed when there was no formula?
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