Bed Rest : a Guide for Family and Friends

Don’t say stupid stuff!

…like “I wish I were the one lying in bed,” or “Wow, don’t you ever change out of your pajamas?” It’s not helpful. I know I’m not wearing any make-up lately, and you’re wondering just how much flannel I own, but trust me, I’m still in there somewhere. And whatever you do, don’t tell me horror stories of so-and-so’s friend’s cousin who was on bed rest for 347 weeks with her quintuplets. I’m having a hard enough time adjusting to what’s going on here, thanks very much.

Listen to me

I’m feeling insecure about this pregnancy at the moment. I’m not on bed rest for fun, but because the pregnancy’s high risk. Allow me the space to talk about it and my fears regarding the outcome. Only give me advice if you know what you’re talking about – I don’t need platitudes right now. I just need an ear.

Remember I’m here

I know that you lead a hectic life. I did too until I had to stop it for a while to bake this baby. Try to schedule me in every now and then. I’d love to hear how things are going out there. Sky news just isn’t cutting it anymore.

Call me ahead of time

I may be in my flannels all day, but that doesn’t mean I’m always available. I might have an appointment with my gynecologist, or a pressing engagement with an afternoon nap. Let me know you’re coming, so I can slap a layer of make-up on, or at least turn off Jerry Springer so you don’t think I’m a complete moron.

Bring me food

I can’t make my own meals at the moment and I’ll die of boredom if I eat another jam sandwich made by my husband just before he leaves for work. Visit me at lunchtime and let’s share a salad or some homemade soup. I’d really value the company, but mainly I’d appreciate tasting something other than white bread and jam. Another good idea is getting a group of our friends to form a roster to supply suppers. My husband’s finding it really difficult to keep up with working and cooking and we can’t afford many more take-outs. Oh, and don’t forget the pudding. I woman needs chocolate at a time like this.

Bring me reading material

I can’t go out and buy my own books and magazines, so when you come, bring me something to read. Preferably something you’ve enjoyed, so we can discuss it. Keep me stocked up with magazines. I’m even doing the crosswords at the moment, so they won’t go to waste.

Let’s do something together

A friend on the internet tells me that one of her friends brought re-runs of 30-something for them to watch together. Let’s do something similar, like scrapbooking, or knitting, or watching ER . Ok, maybe ER isn’t such a good idea at the moment, but you get the picture. I’m bored, and I need entertainment.

Go shopping for me

Take my husband baby clothes shopping and take photos, or talk to me over the phone while you’re doing it. I’d love to get to hear how clueless he is about feeding bras and bottle warmers.

Look forward for me

Every now and then, remind me why I’m here. Sometimes it feels as if the walls are closing in and I can’t see past today. Remind me of the happier times to come.